my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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