if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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