i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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