Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
