If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
