She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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