Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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