i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
