Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
