Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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