Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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