then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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