Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
