yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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