no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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