i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize