I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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