What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My feet surprised me
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