remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
