haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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