oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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