I'm really into asian looking animals
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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