Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize