those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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