Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
