we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
