Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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