i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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