Tell her she can't have a vagina
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize