I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
