Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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