This is not my ceiling
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
