Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
