He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I intend to get homeless drunk
did i walk over a car last night?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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