Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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