More tranny stories later!
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
