yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
