Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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