I should be sponsored by Trojan
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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