What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
