why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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