I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
