so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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