The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
