I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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