the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
