So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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