so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He passed out mid-signature
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
