I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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