Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Me. At least after what I've been through.

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  (540) Me. At least after what I've been through. http://tfl.nu/4dym
  Replies (5) Good night (624) Bad night (809)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."

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  (678): He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended? (770): I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet." http://tfl.nu/9zzp
  Replies (6) Good night (2800) Bad night (1012)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way

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  (905): gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way http://tfl.nu/08qt
  Replies (22) Good night (9370) Bad night (1325)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

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  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6453) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today

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  (708): hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today http://tfl.nu/usqr
  Replies (10) Good night (1954) Bad night (1276)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I smell like Captain Morgan and tears

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  (860): I smell like Captain Morgan and tears http://tfl.nu/pqes
  Replies (11) Good night (1466) Bad night (2840)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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  (907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd
  Replies (11) Good night (998) Bad night (1803)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself

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  (303): It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself http://tfl.nu/u3l5
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (1986)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly

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  (401): Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly http://tfl.nu/cjgf
  Replies (2) Good night (872) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.

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  (773): Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame. http://tfl.nu/s2ml
  Replies (3) Good night (1081) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?

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  (817): You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember? http://tfl.nu/aoja
  Replies (0) Good night (1037) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples

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  (541): Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples http://tfl.nu/ex1b
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.

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  (704): Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood. http://tfl.nu/f31d
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?

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  (318): We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember? http://tfl.nu/wwe6
  Replies (3) Good night (480) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.

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  (360): Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick. http://tfl.nu/kr1r
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (176)

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