she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you win again, gameday.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.