Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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