U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
