i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????