btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe