I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize