we're blogging at a bar
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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