another moral hangover. fuck.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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