you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
