Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
