im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
home. puking in laundry basket.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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