Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
