dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
