Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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