I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
