dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
