have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
