She's JV to your varsity
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
